We have a winner

As many of you have probably already heard and seen, I was involved in an interesting event this past weekend. Team Beer, one of our local bike racing teams, hosted a party/competition celebrating the grand re-opening of one of their sponsors. The event was called the Team Beer WaxOn WaxOff.

Team Beer asked for volunteers from several local teams. The idea was that each contestant would choose the extent of their sleekness (nothing above the neck) and let the professionals do what they do best. He who was deemed to have undergone the biggest transformation from caveman to smooth dolphinesque perfection wins. Pretty simple contest. The treatment was free for each contestant, but everything would be done in front of everyone attending.

I was the lucky nominee for Hup United. I tried to get another volunteer, but it was determined that I was the only logical choice. Lots of body hair, a minor celebrity in the Portland bike scene, and no one else wanted to do it.

So there I was, about to be waxed. I went in the second wave of waxees. Two of the first three contestants went all the way, getting everything from the neck down removed. So the only way for Hup United to conquer all was for me to take a big one for the team and become the most aerodynamic DS in history. And that is exactly what I did.

The crowd was stacked 3-4 deep around my waxing table. It took 2 professional waxers 1.5 hours to complete the process. At one point, two other waxers joined in to help out. Lots of pictures were taken, copious amounts of whiskey was consumed (both by yours truly and the rowdy crowd), scissors were needed to trim bits of hair before wax could be applied, women (and men) saw more intimate parts of my body than most people would be comfortable with, and fun was had by all (well, by most).

Yes, it hurt. No, I wouldn't do it again. But it was worth it. I now have a trophy naming me the Team Beer WaxOff Champion. And Hup United has been elevated once again to one of the best teams in Portland.

Enjoy the pictures. If you are on Facebook, there are more. But remember, once you've seen them, you can't unsee them.

Doing my best George Costanza pose.

Some lovely ladies had their way with me,
before the waxers had their way with me.

Yup, it feels just like it looks. Painful.

They gave me a stick to bite down on. I think
they just wanted me to stop swearing at them.

They had to remove quite a bit of hair
to make me the most aerodynamic DS in the world.

All done.

This is the next day, showing off my smooth
chest and belly and WaxOff Champion trophy.

Barry-Roubaix Gravel road race

Hup put up some great early season results at this tough event,congrats to all!

Chris Kreple-6th in Elite men
Jonathan Evans-22nd Expert men 40-49
Kathy Tahy/Mike Clark-2nd Sport/Expert Tandem

If you are in the neighborhood...

In April I'll be travelling up to North Carolina for 4 days of riding (April 7-10). I wanted to invite any HUP folks who might be around that area to join me. All rides will be at "Gentlemen's Pace" so these are not races or anything. If you'd like to come down for one day that's cool too.

Here are the rides in case you are interested.

Wednesday: Northern Hill Route--around 55 miles/6100ft total elevation--starts from Asheville, NC. This ride contains some dirt roads and for a short distance is very challenging.

Thursday: Asheville-Hot Springs-Asheville-- (75 miles) One climb, mostly flat and very scenic.

Friday: The Queen Stage--Rapha's Continental Road Ride-- which is around (105 miles ). Incredible 10 mile climb up to the Blue Ridge Parkway and and an optional ascent of Mt. Mitchell on the way back to Asheville. Very, very scenic. Great write up on Rapha's website.

Saturday: French Broad River-Graveyard Fields--around 60 miles but half downhill. A nice way to end the trip.

Each ride will be around 17-18mph pace and include a lunch stop. Lodging will be in Asheville. Let me know if you are around that area or want to come down even if it for just one day, it should be great. Lots of good food and beer in Asheville. bobkuhn3@netzero.com

SNOWCROSS #2 RACE REPORT

The season just never ends here on the 3rd Coast as a small-ish contingent of HUP Michigan gathered for the Valentine's Weekend SnowCross Race. This time around the unrideable mud was gone - replaced w/ frozen ruts, fresh snow and plenty o' ice. Crashes were the order of the day and I doubt anyone escaped w/out having a chance to examine the ground @ close range. Lotsa fun and once again the post-race party was not to be missed!

HUP Results:

Bart VanderHammer - 2nd B's
MC - 6th B's (after an early crash that left him DFL goin' into the first turn)
CD - 7th B's
Mossimo - 8th B's

At this point there are no more races on the horizon 'til Fall. (Sigh). Looking forward to the Barry-Roubaix Dirt Road Race next month - there'll be some HUP noise to be made there!

HUP HUP!
MC

Service Course Clean Out

Hup Service Course moved four Seattle blocks last month, and seems like enough kit has gathered to do a post. Please email me for availability and pricing if you are interested. zac@hupunited.com I'll honor emails in the order they roll in. Some gems in there.....Blue sublimated leg warmers (perhaps the most PRO Hup piece to date), a few Blanco rarities like SS Skinsuit and KAOS vest, and some LS Skinsuits in NOIR.

Limited Edition

*Musette Bag (3)
*Blanco Cap (2)

BLUE
*SS Jersey: Small (2)
*Bib: Medium (1)
*Sublimated leg warmers: Small, Large
*Sublimated Wind-tex Bootie: Small

OG NOIR

*Roubaix arm warmers, black w/white logo: XS (4), Small (1), Medium (2)
*Roubaix leg warmers, black w/white logo: XS (2), Small (2)
*Bib: Small, Medium (2)
*SS Jersey: Small (2), XL
*LS Skinsuit: Small, Medium (2)

BLANCO
*SS Jersey: Small, Medium, Large
*KAOS Vest: thinest, lightest, windproof vest offered. No pockets: Medium
*Bib: Large
*Arm warmers with black logo: Small
*SS Skinsuit: Medium

Victory!

Well - it didn't take too long into the new year and decade for the West Michigan Hup contingent to chamois up and start handing it out. Just 16 days into 'aught 10 we have our 1st win of the season!

The Versluis Snowcross takes place @ an apple orchard and is known for the traditionally muddy conditions and the big party on the garage afterwards. Both proved irresitable to myself, Mossimo, Mike Koetsier, Doez and Kaat and a-snowcrossing we did go. The course was pretty much 50/50 sticky mud and glare ice so tire pressures and other little details were less of a focus than scoping out the myriad pots of chili, soups and other post-race treats.

Nonetheless - in the B race Mike K slayed all to finish atop the field w/ Moss in 9th and your reporter in 11th. Doez decided to start drinking early and Kaat rolled over the line in 7th place in the C race.

The next one is in 4 weeks - stayed tuned.

MC

Cabin Fever in MN

So what do you do in Minnesota when there is two feet of snow on the ground and everyone has bagged on cross racing for the season?

Indoor field racing.

Race at the NSC Indoor Field from Smithers on Vimeo.